Honeymoon’s over; work has begun. I wage a constant battle between what I see and what I feel. In order to get more expressive drawings, I must select from what I see, the elements that express what I feel when I look at an object. I finally reached a point where I felt my drawing skills had been thirty years ago. That was satisfying for a few weeks and then my desire to go beyond being a mere student and really making art kicked in. So I decided to challenge myself by changing drawing materials. I will draw in ink. Can’t be erased and will encourage a more fluid line. I want boldness, the confident, sure line
that characterizes great drawings.
Naturally, I set up in a very difficult spot for my first attempt. The sun came out and there was no real place to stand in the shade where I could see the mermaids on the fountain I wanted to draw. My umbrella, rigged to my chair, did not prevent the heat from turning me into my own fountain, as the sweat dripped down my legs. The place was too public and people kept walking by which made my stomach cramp. Between the nerves and the heat I began to feel nauseous and I gave up for the day.
All week I thought about how I would tackle this project. When I went back, I armed myself with an ink wash so that I could start a light drawing and move into the dark ink after some initial figuring out. So much for boldness. I caught myself several times moving away from the energy of the fountain and into the static technicalities of selecting the things that make the drawing look “real.” I am my own worst enemy. I produced an okay drawing, which I posted, after many that have already hit the recycle bin.
I am still not satisfied, and at some point I will return to the mermaids. When, I am not sure. But I am sure that I will work at this until I get it.